The Worst Habit...

I have all kinds of bad habits from sleeping late, littering to chain smoking but theres one habit that i hate the most.

Procrastinating

I have been guilty of heavy procrastination and it has come to the point that i myself am sick and tired of it. i think its the worst habit of all. if u dont learn from ur own mistakes please learn from mine.
To have a better future.
I will change.
These few days will be the turning point of my life.
Its time for me to improve
Its time for me to change
Its TIME

Breakeven

Currently the song i love the most its amazing! i think it relates to me alot so yea thts why hahaha also this is the 113th post =) enjoy

'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god that I don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even

Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake she's no trouble sleeping
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even, even no

What am I suppose to do
when the best part of me was always you
what am I suppose to say
when i'm all choked up and you're OK
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop me bleeding
Cos she moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks no it dont break even

What am I suppose to do
when the best part of me was always you
what am I suppose to say
when i'm all choked up and you're OK
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryna make sence of what little remains
Cos you left with no love, with no love to my name

I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a god i don't believe in
Cos I got time while she got freedom
Cos when a heart breaks no it don't break even
No it don't break, no it dont break even, no

What am I suppose to do
when the best part of me was always you
what am I suppose to say
when i'm all choked up and you're OK
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces

Dengan Harapan..

I may tell you that you're cute, I may call the lady who's sitting cross-legged at the corner as a hottie or I may even refer to you as 'ms. prettyface'...



But the word 'beautiful' is only reserved for that one person =)

A Soft Crash

A year of falling iv finally landed. All my hopes and dreams ended in that one moment. A fall full of joy and pain ended with the most painful of landings. A crash. I thought i could fly but guess not. I thank you for softening my landing. even though there wasnt much you could do or say to erase the pain but what u did certainly made it easier to bare. I dont regret what i did that night. i wont ever look back and feel ashamed of not taking the risk and think what might have been, what could have been and what i should have done. i didnt waste a year of my life loving you. i think it was worth it. you showed me that you care and that our friendship means alot to you. that means alot to me and ill make sure that ill treasure our friendship even more. its time for me to stand back up and move on. i noe its gona be hard but ill survive i promise. i only hope for you to be happy wishing it was with me but not all wishes are granted. those few moments was the worst but in a strange and bizzare way it was also the best and sumhow i wished that that moment wouldnt end and only you could bring that kind of pleasent confusion in my mind, in my heart. Thank you. and i thank everyone whos been there for me supporting me. helping me to recover from the fall. Ill certainly benefit from this fall. iv aquired great freinds and im sure ill become stronger. Thank you.

I apologize to all for this unexplained entry haha its jst smthing tht needs to be let out you see haha morale of the story is if you really like someone jst tell them because ull definately benefit from it wether they feel da same way or not. it will be painful and itll hurt like fuck but youll benefit from it, one way or another. =)

My lovely PC

Ok it was partly my fault for being a nitwit and endlessly delaying backing-up my precious files. Well I had an excuse. I had almost 10GB of what I deem as 'precious files' a.k.a pictures, videos, documents from the yesteryears and I only have a 4GB pendrive and another 1GB pendrive. My dad's external hard drive is almost full. I've been out almost everyday lately so I keep forgetting to ask my mom and my sister for help on that. Lots of memories lost there, sighhhh. Not to mention, a lil bit of songs too. Big sighh..no, big shittttt. I'll just try to gather back all my lost pictures and videos from friends nanti.

Then when I tried to switch on my PC this evening, the dreaded 'blue screen' popped up. The 'blue screen' is the equivalent of a death curse, in PC terminology. So obviously I had no other choice but to reformat the whole system. And currently my desktop looks so..empty. Looks so naked haha.

Where have I been the last few days?

Honestly, I find it hard myself to recall. I've been out quite a lot that I get the dates tangled up a bit haha. You know holidays are here when that happens right.


BUT, I won't ever forget Saturday. Ask Arun =p He's an ice cool guy and thus its hard to tell whether he's high or not. And apparently on Saturday, he was high, very high. Kicking a bowling ball, doing multiple rounds in a roundabout and last but not least, letting his car fly (yes literally) and almost hitting a guy. Yes it was scary but I swear it was funny =p and thrilling lol. And all of that came without warning.


'I can't believe I was that stupid' -words from Arun 30 minutes after our stunt. It's okay man, Amali and I had fun too. Once in a lifetime kan? But you better go back there and apologize to that guy lol kdin. So guys, if you happen to pass by that bumpy downhill old road on top of a hill in chempaka, don't step on the gas ok? haha. I just wish that Arun had warned me earlier so I could take a video of that ride =p


Anyways, happy belated birthday to Amin. Thanks for sungkai yesterday min. And happy advanced birthday to dayah!


P/S: I promised Fatin that I would create a facebook account (yeah like, finally) and I just did. So guys, add me up. And please tell me how to use it because I really have no clue whatsoever! haha


And oh yeah, happy teachers day!

To Mom & Dad

Like any other child, I inherit a lot from my parents. And by that I'm not only referring to my mom's nose and ears, or my dad's eyes and naturally straight hair (umm..when he had hair lol). I'm talking about personality traits that I inherit from my parents that make Yusof Fadli Bin Hj Sidek, Yusof Fadli Bin Hj Sidek.


Personally, I believe that I inherit more from my dad. I got my sense of humour from my dad, hands down. I'm not saying that my mom aint funny but my dad's just awesome when it comes to teasing people and being the clown in a gathering, especially family gatherings. He thrives in making people laugh which makes family gatherings that much more fun. And yes I feel very lucky and proud of my dad! no no, no sarcasm intended haha. You can ask any of my family members and they'll tell you that I'm almost a carbon copy of my dad when it comes to having fun and pulling practical jokes. So if you think I'm annoying, try go camping with my dad for a night hahaha.


Just like my dad, I'm an extrovert and I find it quite easy to get along with people especially with strangers. But yet again, just like my dad, I keep my inner thoughts and feelings in the 6 six inches between my ears and only share them with my circle of close friends.


It's so easy to assume that my dad has worked as a clown in a circus before because he almost never shows any signs of affection, even within the household. He just goes about his own business at home, talks about his passions-whether it be gardening, golf, planes or historical facts- and then cracks up a joke or two. Even when I had accomplished or won something which will get my mom all hyped up that she would run up and give me a hug that'll suffocate me, he'll just look at me in the eyes and smile. Never has he ever said the word 'Thank you', 'Sorry' and 'Congratulations' to me, never. It took me quite some time to understand this part of him. I can't believe it took me until my teenage years to figure out that beneath that cheeky smile of his, lies the sweetest soul a dad can have. A soul that has a muted voice but has the purest and best intentions. 'Thank you', 'Sorry' and 'Congratulations' are words that are hard to come by from my dad. And I realised that I seldom say those words to my friends, especially to my closer friends, when necessary. I'm really sorry guys! My actions speak louder than my words, so the absence of those words do not necessarily reflect how I feel yeah? I guess those words are more or less implied when the time calls for it :)




My love for planes, travelling, golf and fireworks came from my dad. Especially now that it's Ramadhan, it's time to stock up on fireworks! Ironically my dad seems to be more excited than I am in buying fireworks this year. The older I get, the more he treats me less like a child and more like his bestfriend which is really awesome. And these three things - planes, golf and fireworks - run through my bloodline as four of my uncles play golf, one is a pilot and the other is involved with aerospace engineering, and fireworks, we all play fireworks don't we? haha. Since most of my relatives from my dad's side live within a neighbourhood, we would traditionally have some sort of 'badil' competition on the eve of Hari Raya.



I got my competitiveness from my mom. My mom's a perfectionist and she hard-wired that attitude into me from a very young age. I-hate-losing, in everything. Whether it be losing in a casual golf match with my dad and uncles or losing academically. Being runner-up just means that you're the first loser. Initially it was very hard for me to cope with this attitude, after all, nothing's perfect right? Why work towards something that's impossible to achieve? But my mom showed me that by striving to be 'perfect' actually makes the road to excellence shorter. Its hard to explain, so I'll skip this lol. I always try my best in everything and when things do not go my way, my short fuse kicks in and that's a fault that I'm still working on. As I said, nothing or no one is perfect right? :) Not that I'm going to use it as an excuse though.


Ok I'm not a Readers Digest author, so I apologize if the post is short. I think I'm missing something there. But it's way past midnight and I'm sleepy already. I'm off to sleep now. Oh by the way I got my 'staying up late' gene from my Mom. lol

S = F/A

I study physics and it is told that:

Stress = F/A

F, Force
A, Area


And right now the 'Force' acting on me is increasing, exponentially.

Sigh

PC Talor

This would've been a wayyyy longer post if it wasn't for the sudden demise of my PC. So I'm giving a pinky promise for a longer post tomorrow, well hopefully =). Thank god I managed to save some of my important files. So the last few hours were spent on reviving my PC and I'm totally exhausted as a result. I had to reformat the system, hence my hard disk's really empty right now, just like my head.



I'm buckling up for a tough month.





Yes I know, lots of sappy songs. Which is partly why I made this blog private, for now. It's supposed to be a blog that puts a smile on the reader's face. Jokes, entertainment and interesting insights into Nadzri's and my life. I'm just not in a state to provide those materials right now. Nantitah haha.

Self-sequestering

I haven't been in my best state lately. Well that's a huge understatement.


Have you ever felt that you had a novel-worth of things to blurt out but then all of a sudden you feel that you really can't take it anymore and the next thing you know, you're comfortable being in total silence.


Im making this blog a private one, in a few hours after this. Until whenever I wish to. So if you guys wish to continue reading this pathetic blog, drop your name and email address in the tagboard and ill invite you guys in, maybe.


Ciao.

Screw the title

I have a bloody mega humongous headache right now. My eyes feel so hot that I wish I could just take a fork and pluck them out of my eyesockets. Physically, I haven't been in hunky dory shape for a week now. Tests are flying in, and so are the homeworks so obviously its not a good combination. And somehow, SOMEHOW (only my stupidity can make this possible) I twisted my knee while going down the staircase a few hours ago. Very nice.



Jeng's going back on Saturday and Id feel really guilty if I won't be able to find any time to go out with him, at least once more. I know how he feels about how his holidays are going about so far...so I'll tell ya when Im free aite man? I went out with them Nadzri and Jeng last Friday, and it was almost a carbon copy of the previous friday, only with more people this time. Oh and go to 'Wanna & Dhil's' link if you wish to see the pictures. I advice you not to though, since my only picture there makes me look like a retard with Nadzri's middle finger sticking up my nose.



It's going to be a busy August for me I guess. End-of-years are fast approaching. There are about 5-6 weekends left until Ramadhan comes and lo and behold, 6 of my relatives are getting married in that time frame. What is this?! Mating season? Im kidding alright. Three of those getting married are my first cousins and all of them literally live within shouting distance from my bedroom window.



A few days ago I played my piano (yes I'm a pussy) for the first time in a few months. Surprisingly (well not really), I only get the urge to play it when I'm feeling down. And I play it better that way (thats what they mean by, mesti ada 'feelingggg'). Currently working on a few songs after getting the music notes from the internet. 



A random post isnt it? I dont feel like the storyteller of yesteryears anymore. Im much more curled up and secretive nowadays. I just dont feel like talking and being a clown that often anymore due to....whatever. So Im actually thinking of deleting this blog, but I haven't talked about it with Nadzri yet.



Haha till then

Crushed

As a young child, my mom used to say to me, 'never give up on whatever you do', or 'you can accomplish anything if you try your best', you know, along those lines. You get the picture. I guess it doesn't apply to everything in life.


Yes I know, this may make me sound like a spoilt brat. 'Oh, so you expect you can have anything you want lah?' my mom would go. But I'm not referring to an object, or any materials. I'm talking about someone, whom had everything I had ever wanted in a person.  A person who I look forward to see every single day. A person who can make my day like no other person can. A person who grazed my definition of 'perfection'. She knows me inside out, and everything else around me. And vice versa.


My bestfriend, my everything.


I feel like everything - all the tears, the laughter, the joy and the pain - from the yesteryears have gone down the drain, just like that. All that's left are beautiful, yet very very painful memories...

I love you

Transition

I knew it! I knew I was gona run out of material to blog about once school is in full swing again. There's just nothing much to write about. I'm sure I'll torture you with boredom if I go like 'I hung out with *inserts name* during my PS block' or 'I ate super pedas nasi lamak ayam goreng for lunch' everyday. Unless it's something significant, I wont really write anything about it =)


Me and Arun met up with Jeng for lunch a couple of days ago. He hasn't changed a bit, which is a good thing. But I think he has cut down on his profanity lol. Besides his long hair that can make others mistake him for Wu Chun (he's gona kill me if he reads this), I think he's still the same old Jeng. I haven't met up with Nadzri though. I still owe him a meal and a movie, courtesy of Spain's exploits in Euro'08 a few weeks back. 


For the last two days I've been spending my afternoons practicing a play due to be performed for saturday afternoon's assembly. It's supposed provide a satirical view on the school's cleanliness.
There's also a choir performance during that very assembly but I'm not yet sure whether to join their performance or not as I'm not that ready.


Alright that's it for now then. My homeworks are literally stacking up, it's building a tower on my study desk. Before a second tower gets built, I better sign off now. Laters =)

My Reason

I'm holding on
To pictures on my telephone
And I know that I should let you go
But it's hard to break away.
I ask around
And I wonder what you're doing now
But I hear that you've been going out
A little more these days.

Well, I can't lie that I think from time to time
How you're doing
But don't hang up cause
What I really meant to say is

Everything's wrong, nothing's going right
Just know that I'm not hard to find.
So just say the word and I'll race to you tonight
And I'lll be right there by your side...holding on.

Rain rain go away...

As you all know, Brunei hasnt seen much of the sun lately. Its been like this for like what, a week? 10 days? Im dead bored now and not feeling too good, and blurting out my random thoughts sometimes cheers me up.


Most of you probably know that weather affects our mood. For the past week, my mom comes back from work saying that the weather is making her feel 'gloomy'. Strangely, I'm the one who's feeling 'gloomy' in this house. My mom's sort of cheerful tia pulang. Well its not that im complaining though.





So that's why the weather's been crappy...


Temperature affects the hypothalamus, that part of the brain that serves as the body's thermostat. Sunlight alters the balance of hormones. Changes in humidity and barometric pressure lead to changes in blood flow and the amount of oxygen reaching the brain.



As a rule of thumb, a beautiful sunshine-filled day tends to make you, well..happy. And the kind of 'gloomy' weather Brunei's been experiencing for the past week or so, tends to make you 'gloomy' too i guess. Im a living testament to that statement haha. But nothing beats the shit out of us like a hot, humid day can.


I was planning to get a haircut today, but nyehhh. Not today, at least. As i said, 'gloomy' haha.